My Non-Answer to the Daily Prompt

In Opinion, Opinion/Personal, Personal on October 24, 2012 at 12:34 pm

“What’s the one thing you hope other people never say about you?”

Trick question.
#1: Nobody can have just one thing. Each person has a million things depending on their own personal histories. For some people it’s about beauty, for some its about fitness, intelligence, profession, skill. The list could go on and on.
For me, I don’t want people to think I’m not memorable, but I suppose that’s a bit dumb. If they don’t remember me, how will they be able to say anything about me when I’m not around? Back on point, I think this is because I’ve dealt with this issue since I was about 8 years old. I know what you’re thinking: what 8 year old pays attention to that kind of thing? This one did. And any one would when the person who has no idea who you are even though they’ve met you before is your father. That was the first time it happened, and its been happening to me regularly for my whole life.
Also, I don’t want people to say I was rude or dismissive. Sometimes I am, I admit, but sometimes it’s because I am unaware. I have an invisible disability, meaning its not physically obvious to those around me. I lovingly refer to it as my deaf ear. I don’t technically have a deaf ear. I have hearing loss in both ears, with one being significantly more than the other. I also have an undiagnosed issue that I’m not even sure has a name. I have a serious issue with stimulation. I am completely unable to filter it. I am unable to differentiate between my target stimuli and background noise and it ends up sounding like a hot mess in a foreign language that I’ve never even heard of before. For example, if I’m in a conversation in a restaurant and a couple is at the table next to me also in a conversation, the words of the couple at the other table and the person in talking to jumble together. This occurs not just with language, but any kind of background noise. It also occurs with my vision. I find myself unable to focus or actually see anything with just minor changes to lighting. It’s hard to explain, but my best example is during dusk. When the sun is setting and everything starts to get that grey orange glow but its still daylight, I can not see. Everything turns fuzzy, I can’t make out details, most things are shaped of dark color, and I have to repeatedly take 10-15 seconds of just closing my eyes and allowing them to relax before attempting to get them to readjust again. Back on my hearing – it often “goes out.” generally this only happens to one ear at a time, but it sounds like everything is in a tunnel or underwater. i have frequent pain in my inner ear on the left side (which is the one in worse shape). What really sucks is that these problems do not show up on tests that ophthalmologists or audiologists perform, so I have no idea why it happens. So sometimes if I don’t respond or I look at a person with an odd expression, it’s because I’m unaware or confused or attempting to adjust myself to be able to better communicate under the current conditions.
I have many, many more things I hope people never say about me, but these are the top two that immediately came to mind. But that leads me to my second point.
Trick question.
#2: what can you do about it? People make assumptions. People make judgements. I do it. You do it. Everyone does at some point, no matter if its purposeful or accidental or subconscious. That fact can not be changed. And you can’t necessarily change who you are, nor do I believe you should if you are okay with yourself. So you rubbed somebody the wrong way, big deal. One person does not get along with every other person in the world. Personalities clash, preferences differ. That’s life. Wasting time by harping on the “what if’s” of statements about you that you wouldn’t like can only do one thing, and that is to make you feel bad about yourself. I know this prompt wasn’t intended that way, but that’s where it brought me. I’ve had lots of bad things said about me, such as being called a slut when I was 13 just because my best friend was a guy. But I knew they weren’t true to who I was, so I brushed it all off an went on happily with myself. So my question to trump this prompt is: “Why worry about the statements that might (or might not) be said about you?”


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