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Inviting A Change

In Personal, Random on November 15, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Personal growth is golden.  One should always strive to attain it.  You are never too old for it.  It doesn’t require money or classrooms.  I feel myself going through changes constantly, and I think to myself that it must be growth.  Not physically, but mentally.  I feel this strangeness and then after a little while, I realize that something in me has changed.  A thought, an idea, a belief, a feeling – something – is different from it was before.

One thing I’ve learned is that wisdom doesn’t always require age.  Children can be very insightful if you just take the time to listen to what they are saying.  A person doesn’t have to be geriatric to give good advice or make a profoundly deep statement.  I have a friend who is younger than I, but has been through many trying times in her life just in the short 3 years I’ve known her.  I’ve watched her growth from the outside, growth and changes that she was forced into by situational factors, and she handled it with grace.  For the most part.  (Girls are girls, and it’s okay to have a few drinks to bitch and cry over every now and again.)

Anyways, this friend said something terrifyingly true recently.  “Just because someone does something different than I do, it doesn’t mean they are doing it wrong.  It’s just different.”  Now, I know this sounds like common sense and as if I must be some closed-minded bigot.  I’m the farthest from that possible, believe me.  This was profound to me not in the sense of major issues of differences in people, such as sexual orientation.  For me, it stood out on a much more small-scale level.

My biggest pet peeve is people who don’t keep their word.  For me, personally, plans are plans.  If I tell someone I am going to be somewhere at a certain time, I’m there.  If I agree to go somewhere with someone, I go.  No matter how much my mind changes between making the plans and actually doing it, I stick with it because I’ve given this person my word and they are depending on me.  That’s just the way it is for me.  I don’t flake out, and I expect the same from other people in return.  However, this is not always the case and I get so upset by this.  So recently, when plans were changed/cancelled kind of last-minute and I became flustered that my whole evening was no longer what I had been expecting or intending, I was reminded that not all people are like me.  I am a different person with different preferences and plans changing with the wind are not that big of a deal to most other people.

So I thought back on the statement from my friend.  It doesn’t mean anyone did anything wrong, it just means they handled it differently than I would have and I need to be more accepting of that.  I gave myself a minute to let this sink in and demanded my brain to relax.  Instead of becoming uptight and agitated, I let it roll off.  Obviously, it didn’t roll off completely.  It will take time for that to happen.  But I will continue to work on this and remind myself that it does not mean anyone is wrong or that my way is the only way, and maybe one day I won’t even have to make it roll off.  Maybe one day it will roll off all on its own and I won’t even realize it until after it’s happened.  And then I can sigh with relief and remain less stressed and bask in the glow of knowing that I have minutely transformed myself again through personal growth.

And maybe – just maybe – one day I will be able to do something like someone else and be okay with it.  Maybe I won’t have to be so in charge and in control.  Maybe.

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