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A Turn of Phrase…In the Wrong Direction

In Opinion, Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on January 2, 2013 at 7:44 pm

A turn of phrase is a distinctive expression.  The world is full of them, and probably has been since the origin of language.  But recently I’ve noticed a trend – no, a pandemic.  A God-awful outbreak of people wanting to be “original” by creating a new word, phrase, or motto.  These new turns of phrase are such a wrong turn that they are riding shotgun with Eliza Dushku – the irony here not being only that she starred in a movie entitled Wrong Turn, but that the making of this deplorable movie in itself was a “wrong turn” for all those involved.

Since we’ve just started a new year and I recently read an article about a college who created a list of words to “retire,” I’ve decided to explain why I think some things should be not just retired, but packed up and shipped off and shoved into a dusty corner of an old closet to be forgotten about forever.

1. YOLO

You Only Live Once.”  No shit.  Thank you Captain Obvious.  Humans do not have nine lives.  Pretty sure we are ALL aware of this.  This is not an acceptable excuse to make poor decisions or be dumb.  Adding “YOLO” at the end of, I don’t know, any statement involving reckless partying or dangerous sexual habits does not exempt you from consequences just because you’re young and hip.  Or dope.  Or whatever they say now.  Case in point: the rapper who was drinking and driving and tweeted it – cuz, ya know, YOLO – and shortly thereafter wrecked and died.  Irony?  I don’t know.  I personally prefer acronyms for other pointless things that are a bit more interesting, such as You Obviously Like Owls.  Maybe YOLOreos…

2. Ratchet

First of all, nobody effing knows how to even spell this.  I’ve seen it in many different forms with multiple amounts of t’s.  if you can’t spell it, don’t use it.  Secondly, you can’t even decide on the meaning!  According to Urban Dictionary, it’s a diva who thinks she’s everyone’s wet dream come true.  However, I’ve seen it used as a derogatory term to mean something or someone is gross, disgusting, low quality – busted, if you will.  But you know what?  This is what ratchet really is:

Machinery.  Equipment.  A gear.  Sometimes it is also used to describe a socket wrench.  I’ve also learned that it is apparently a video game character.  However, none of these things are related to being dumb and posting pictures with a pad in the floor or being generally unfortunate looking either physically or in style choices.

3. Wooty

This one isn’t very new, but it hasn’t gained popularity comparable to the likes of the previous two.  All the same, it needs to be buried in an unmarked grave.  “Wooty” stands for “white girl with a booty.”  There’s even a song about it, which is on my list of reasons why I dislike most people.  Youtube it if you must, but I refuse to embed it into my post.  Also, Youtube has many wooties showing their wooty skills or instructional wooty dancing videos, as the first picture shows.  Also, while having nothing to do with a white girl with a big ass, this poor little precious white cat’s name is Wooty, so I found tons of pictures of it.  Also, I found it funny that the cat is white and this picture is a nice shot from behind, so I guess it kind of works.

4. Butthurt

I’m just going to take a second and Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler this one.  Really?  We really need to use a term such as “butthurt”?  Really?!  According to Urban Dictionary, this term is used for when someone becomes upset after a perceived insult and originated from spanking used as a punishment.  On Know Your Meme, I found some others that derived from butthurt, such as buttfrustrated and analcrusaded.  Not sure I want to know how that last one ties in with spanking – hell, I am finishing up 50 Shades of Grey, I’m pretty sure I already know…

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