Conversations With My Boyfriend

In Funny, Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on December 2, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Children say the darnedest things…

Anyone who is a parent or has small children in their family can attest to this.  Bill Cosby did a whole show dedicated to it.  There’s a very entertaining Twitter feed that has been turned into a book called Preschool Gems full of nothing but the out-loud thoughts of young children.  Even my Facebook news feed is full of status updates from parents recapping hilarious scenarios and conversations with their children of either funny things their kids say or things they have to say to their kids that they would’ve never imagined they would be saying.  I enjoy reading these and made a mental note long ago that, should I become a mother one day, I would keep a running log of all the cute, funny, and often times quite wise musings that I will inevitably bear witness to.

But then I realized I didn’t have to wait.  I have been blessed with the companionship of a very high energy and entertaining person.  While he is 30 years old, he is very youthful in both appearance and demeanor.  His sense of humor is larger than he is himself and with his Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, it is not uncommon to end up in very strange, confusing, and random conversations.  Give him a couple beers, and that scale is multiplied.  I know what you’re probably thinking.  That doesn’t sound like fun.  Where is this going?  What in the hell does this have to do with Bill Cosby or children?

First off, let me say that both myself and my lovely boyfriend are aware that his high energy and in-your-face personality can be challenging to some.  But another thing I am aware of is that the people that “can’t handle him” don’t deserve to anyways.  Yes, he can be loud.  Yes, he can be a tad crazy.  Yes, he’s easily distracted and it takes some brain power sometimes to keep up with his train of thought.  But he’s also the friendliest person I’ve ever met.  He’s nice to everyone he meets.  He’s sociable and always tries to make sure that everyone around him is having a good time.  While a large part of his personality is this rambunctious teenage-like quality, he knows when to be an adult.  He is responsible and sensible and caring.  He’s sweet.  He’s a good friend, even to those that aren’t good friends to him.  For me, all this energy and craziness is like a breath of fresh air after being stuck in a relationship/marriage for 8 years total with a fun-sucking antisocial who would lock themselves in the bedroom and refuse to come out if I had a friend over, despite knowing my friends for almost as long as I have.  I enjoy the random, I enjoy the loud, I enjoy the fun.  I enjoy that even though he has grown through 3 decades, he has not allowed that to turn him into an old man on inside.  He has not allowed that to remove his sense of fun, his sense of wonder, and his sense of life.

With all that being said, I will now share with all you beautiful bloggers and readers out there some of the memorable conversations I’ve had with my dude, things I’ve had to say to him in all seriousness in response to his ideas or actions, or conversations I’ve witnessed him having with friends, many of which I didn’t understand myself while they were being had, most of which I asked myself afterwards, Did that really just happen?

"Do not throw your banjo!"
"Well, I just did.  That's how much I love you."

Upon finding out our neighbor installed a pole in her living room 
for dancing, I turn to find my boyfriend gone.  I enter our 
apartment to him throwing around clothes in the bedroom:
"You're looking for your tuxedo underwear, aren't you."
"Don't put those on and go over there."
"But it'll be funny."
"You're gonna do it anyways, aren't you?"

5 minutes later, after finding tuxedo underwear:
"No.  Just no."
"You need to do something.  Tuck it before you walk out there 
because right now I can see all your junk."
"Oh, ok."

"You can't go sit on the back patio naked!  At least take a 

"Nobody wants to see you do butt confetti tonight."

"Balls sag when you get older.  Uneven, too. I'm like a constant 

"Yes, what?"
"I feel like my whole body is going to explode and everyone is 
going to point and laugh at me."

"Why are you wearing my panties?"
"Because it's funny.  Take a picture."
"I will not.  You've got a whole ball hanging out one side."
"Well, I can't help it!  These weren't made big enough to hold 
"That's because they're panties."
"Take a picture!"

"What did you do?"
"We made a snowman!  We gave him some lovely lady lumps.  And a 
"Cuz it's funny!"

"I love how you're so confident when you say things that make no 
"Maybe that's because I can see everything in my whole my house!"

Sometimes, as I stated earlier, I do pause for a moment and think to myself Did I really just have to say that out loud to a grown man?  Did we really just have this conversation?  My answer is always “yes” and my response is always a sigh of feigned exasperation followed by a happy laugh.  His ability to make me do that so easily is possibly my favorite thing about him.  So maybe this post was less about funny conversations and more about how grateful I am for these silly moments, for how much I’ve laughed in the last few months that I’ve been with him, and for all my close friends and family members’ comments of how the “old me” is back – the happy me.  And how amazing and cathartic writing is…I had my idea at the beginning of this post, but let myself almost go on overdrive and let the writing take me where it wanted instead of trying to keep it on subject and it allowed me to talk about what the real underlying reason was behind my enjoying of my boyfriend’s craziness and humor.  I had very much to be thankful for this holiday, and I am grateful for every second and every piece of it because it has brought me back to life when I didn’t even realize for too long that I had let myself die.

I hope everyone can find that something or things that allows them to experience, feel, and say that same thing.

  1. Glad you posted 🙂 Your life with Peter Pan sounds like pure magic. Growing up is a lie – so go through the motions of being an adult to keep others happy, but keep both feet anchored in that secret garden of childhood. My kids have given up on asking me to behave like a grown-up: life’s too short to pretend to be something you’re not.


  2. This was such a beautiful article…thank you for sharing 🙂
    Sometimes the random is just nice, rather than the old routine set lifestyle of following adult behavioral customs.



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