Nugget #61: A Connoisseur, Of Sorts

“You know what coffee reminds me of? Soup. Really good soup. For adults.”

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Nugget #60: English are hard…

“I’m living bicariously of you.”

Nugget #59: Bison and Condiments

“What’s a stuffed buffalo without 2 gallons of mayonnaise?”

Dude conversations are the best nonsense ever to be heard, especially with a little beer thrown in the mix.

Nugget #58: The Great Debate

Who are we? A philosophical question many people mull over in their lives. Here’s the absolute un-philosophical attempt to answer between two friends…

1: “We’re yuppies.”
2: “I don’t think you know what that word means.”
1: “Yeah. It means a person who does what they love in life and… does… yuppie stuff.”
2: “No. Yuppies are upper class stuck up people. We are not upper class. We are not really cultured.”
1: “Bikers think cultured people are yuppies.”
2: “We aren’t cultured.”
1: “Then no, I don’t know what yuppie means.”

Nugget #57: Just Another Day at the Office

“I guess I spoiled him for buying him peanuts the other day, while he asked me about boobs and women’s penises. I told him he used the wrong word for girl’s privates, but he said he was right.”

-a re-telling of what has become normal conversation between case managers and clients at my work place. No two days are the same and you never know what might happen or be said. It’s these little things that make me enjoy my job 🙂

Nugget #55: New Standards

“I mean, I eat potato chips off my belly in sweats watching anime, for Christ‘s sake. If that’s what makes you hot, then I have underestimated myself.”

Nugget #51: Driving Me Nuts!

“My underwear is driving me nuts.  If I had nuts, they’d be driving my nuts nuts!”

An hour later…

“I’m an idiot.  My underwear was on backwards.  No wonder it was so uncomfortable…”

Nugget #50: Pregnancy Does Make People A Little Crazy…

“When I get pregnant, I’m gonna use that excuse for everything. I’m just gonna shit in somebody’s floor – ‘sorry, I’m pregnant.'”

I’ve heard of pregnancy brain, but this might be pushing it a little bit…

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Nugget #49: Even Made-Up Homies Protect Each Other

Me: “I can’t be mean to her!  We are in a desk knife gang together.  We got each other’s backs.  We will even have a song.”

My supervisor: “Murdaaa.”

Me: “Oh, for sure.  Definitely Ja Rule.”

This, surprisingly, was not a very unusual conversation for my work place.

**I am not actually affiliated with a real gang.  Only the one that my old office mate and I created upon both finding confiscated pocket knives in our desks during our office’s move.  Cuz we bad.

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Nugget #47: Dating Standards

“He has that kind of face that he could pull off a cardigan.”

My explanation as to why a certain individual would be a good match for one of my friends. Trust me, it 100% made sense in my head…