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Posts Tagged ‘Anxiety’

We’re growing! Now let’s get real, part 6

In Opinion/Personal, Personal on January 6, 2019 at 8:15 pm

Part 1: Morning Sickness

Part 2: Cravings & Aversions

Part 3: Digestion

Part 4: Body Talk

Part 5: Second Puberty

I am an educated woman. I completed a four year degree at a well recognized (while still affordable) university in my area. I’ve honed my skills in my career to continue growing, proving myself, and climbing the ranks at a stable and comfortable pace. I am well read and was raised to be self sufficient. I was taught common sense and problem solving skills from as early as I can remember.

Guess what? None of that matters. Quite early on, and sporadically throughout the pregnancy, all reason goes right out the window.

Welcome to the world of Irrational Fears!

So far, starting around week 6 and occurring randomly ever since, I’ve had he following thoughts:

  • Don’t cough too hard, you might knock it loose.
  • Don’t use your ab muscles very often, you might squeeze it loose.
    What if those aren’t ligament pains and are actually your uterus detaching inside your body?
    What if that wasn’t a kick of the baby rolling over, but a sign something is wrong?

Those are only the main ones I can easily recall, there have been many other brief thoughts and worries. I have googled myself to death looking up every symptom, feeling, and sensation.

Silver lining: I think a touch of paranoia is normal. I’ve learned so much from googling even the most random things – I’ve learned details about the changes to a woman’s body and the development of the baby that no health book ever included. I’ve learned a lot of different scenarios, which can definitely be scary but also helps me feel more prepared in case any of those scenarios occur with me. Also, I am aware that my underlying daily anxiety is definitely playing a role. While concerns are normal, not everyone will experience the level of concern I sometimes do, but my being aware of that affect is enough for me to talk myself through any freak outs.

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Schools Gotta Get It Together

In Opinion, Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on May 5, 2014 at 7:05 pm

I just wanted to share this experience my family has been dealing with regarding my cousin and her high school education.  It’s been difficult and really eye opening and made me realize even more so than I already knew that school systems have a lot of catching up to do with how teens are these days.  It also made me realize that often, the problem is that the decision makers have no clue how it really is down the totem pole, nor do they care, and have no interest in trying to help in unusual situations.

My cousin was on home bound, which is where the school system sends a teacher to her home instead of her attending regular classes.  Not only was she dealing with bullying at the school, she has a history of high anxiety, depression, self harm, and a thyroid disorder that does have an affect on her moods.  With 6 weeks left in the school year, which she has been on home bound for the entirety of, my aunt received a letter stating that she had to return to school in less than a week’s time to finish the year because her home bound was no longer approved.  There were multiple different reasons as to why, but it all boiled down to an initial paperwork error that was never noted prior to this and regulations that were never made known to my family in the beginning.  Regulations, that in my opinion, are ridiculous, such as sating that because her doctor put her on medication to treat her thyroid disorder, this is considered a “non-issue” or changes in the way the paperwork must be completed depending on her progress that the family was completely unaware of.

Because I feel I am much better with written word than verbal conversations (which I also tried and got nowhere with), I decided to write a letter to the Board of Education in my hometown where my cousin is currently enrolled in school to bring attention to the issues I discovered during this process.  I feel that a change need to take place in the way things are handled and the way the schools are run there, and all it takes sometimes is one person shining a light on it to get that ball rolling.  So I decided I would also post this letter on my blog.  Other teens and families may be dealing with trouble within their school systems, as well, and I really wanted to put this out there in the world for people to see because of my dissatisfaction with the way this has been handled.  So here was the letter I wrote to the Pike County Board of Education, my cousin’s full name are not included since I did not ask her if I could openly put her on my blog.

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Sometimes, A Funk Will Happen

In Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on September 10, 2013 at 2:56 pm

I’ve been in a funk for a few days. I’m blaming it on the fact that I have ovaries who hate me, but in reality, I just do this sometimes regardless of PMS. I haven’t figured out why. It’s like the little voice in the back of my head mocking everything I do and reminding me of all my doubts and fears with a PowerPoint presentation and pen light just takes over control of my whole brain.

It makes me second guess everything. Everything I do, everything anyone around does. It makes me paranoid of secret motives and lies. I can rationalize throughout the barrage of endless negativity, telling myself I’m being, for lack of a better description, borderline insane. I think that’s the worst part. I know as I’m going through this whole process that most of what’s going on in my head is unfounded and illogical, but it doesn’t actually stop it from happening. Truth be told, I’ve yet to find anything that can stop it.

The second worst part is having to try to explain it away to people around me. “Lets play it off as PMS. Lets just say it was a long day and work was tough or I’m just exhausted. I promise it’s not anything you’ve done.” But how do you explain to someone who doesn’t go through something similar that every now and then, your mind loses control a bit? That once in a while, you somehow turn on yourself? I also have yet to find a successful way around or through that.

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Nugget #53: Anxiety Makes For Strange Conversation…

In Cleverness, Funny, Pictures/Images on June 10, 2013 at 4:46 pm

For some people, social anxiety surpasses the average face to face communication. In this case, chatting online can turn quite strange…

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Bumps to Babies

Discussing the joy and woes of pregnancy and being a mom

Singing Heart

Poems by Karem Barratt

*UNBREAKABLE QUEEN'S LIFE LESSONS DIARY*

Breaking Free From The Past, In Hope For A Bigger & Brighter Future

One Day at a Time

The world is a confusing place, these are just my musings on it.

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