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Posts Tagged ‘Dating’

A Name Changer

In Opinion/Personal, Personal on January 28, 2015 at 9:45 am

It happened. A day I thought I would never see, a day I thought I would never have, a day that until within the last year I never thought I would want.

Boyfriend was acting very strange lately. I was catching whispers between him and his friends upon entering rooms, immediately followed by failed attempts to appear normal and quick “nothing” responses when I casually ask what’s up. He became secretive with his cell phone, constantly texting away and even putting a pass code lock on it. In my usual fashion, I went straight to paranoia. Here it is, that bomb I’ve waiting for that is going to destroy this whole world I’ve been living in the last year and a half.  I don’t question that he loves me. I don’t think for a second that he would hurt me. But I still always have that little voice in my head screaming all my worst fears and all my past experiences.  In his usual fashion, he read my mind and squashed my concerns by casually tells me about putting passcode on his phone after leaving it unattended at work and coming back to find someone had been messing with it, as well as the conversations he has been having with his family about my Christmas gifts, since I’m apparently very difficult to shop for.

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New Year, Old Me

In Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on January 10, 2014 at 10:34 am

Another year gone.  This anniversary.  That anniversary.  Another birthday passed.  Cycle of holidays.  The end of one era.  Sadness and failure.  Acceptance and moving forward.  New friends.  The start of a new era.

I ruined someone’s life in this year we’ve just left.  Not carelessly, not permanently, but for a short time, I know it felt to them that I did.  I didn’t mean it.  I did everything I could to avoid it.  But 2 years of denying the inevitable and thinking it was easier to make myself miserable than to have someone else be unhappy at my expense took a toll on me.

It was hard.  I felt like I didn’t even know who I was anymore.  I had played this character for so long, I couldn’t remember what or who was buried under the mask of false acceptance.  I was broke.  I was alone. But it was my decision that had me there.

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Dating In The New World

In Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on August 9, 2013 at 8:50 am

I received my divorce papers back in the mail today – mostly completed.  A small part of me feels that this tiny little oversight of a missed signature was done intentionally to draw out the process even longer, but I will continue to remain cool and collected.  At least I did finally get the majority of it back completed after months of waiting.  But my focus in this post will not be on the childish antics of an ex.  Upon making the decision to go through with a divorce, I knew things needed to change.  Not just in my living arrangements or marital status, but in myself.  I needed to put myself out there and start taking risks.  No more standing on the sidelines watching other people chase happiness and fun, I needed to be running with the bulls myself!  But there was one little hitch…I’m completely lame. Read the rest of this entry »

On memories, beginnings, lonliness, and no plans: This is not the end.

In Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on April 2, 2013 at 4:23 pm

I need to be painfully honest.  Not with someone else – with myself.  I’ve tried to avoid it, because even though I already know what I need to say to myself I know it is still going to feel different once it is said.  I’ve sat down handfuls of times in an attempt to write.  To write a post, to write on a story already started, to write literally anything, and I ended up staring at my computer screen for endless minutes before getting frustrated and closing it all out.  I know it’s because my head is clouded with all these unspoken things, these things that I’ve been trying desperately to un-think.  But the truth is, these things are there.  Whether I allow myself to think about it, whether I fight in an attempt to not have to face the facts, they are there and they always will be.  So here I sit, pecking away at my keyboard because I know I need to man up and do it already.

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Nugget #47: Dating Standards

In Cleverness, Funny, Quotes, Uncategorized on March 5, 2013 at 12:09 pm

“He has that kind of face that he could pull off a cardigan.”

My explanation as to why a certain individual would be a good match for one of my friends. Trust me, it 100% made sense in my head…

Singing Heart

Poems by Karem Barratt

*UNBREAKABLE QUEEN'S LIFE LESSONS DIARY*

Breaking Free From The Past, In Hope For A Bigger & Brighter Future

One Day at a Time

The world is a confusing place, these are just my musings on it.

The Girl

enjoying whatever life has to offer...

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