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Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

We’re growing! Now let’s get real, part 6

In Opinion/Personal, Personal on January 6, 2019 at 8:15 pm

Part 1: Morning Sickness

Part 2: Cravings & Aversions

Part 3: Digestion

Part 4: Body Talk

Part 5: Second Puberty

I am an educated woman. I completed a four year degree at a well recognized (while still affordable) university in my area. I’ve honed my skills in my career to continue growing, proving myself, and climbing the ranks at a stable and comfortable pace. I am well read and was raised to be self sufficient. I was taught common sense and problem solving skills from as early as I can remember.

Guess what? None of that matters. Quite early on, and sporadically throughout the pregnancy, all reason goes right out the window.

Welcome to the world of Irrational Fears!

So far, starting around week 6 and occurring randomly ever since, I’ve had he following thoughts:

  • Don’t cough too hard, you might knock it loose.
  • Don’t use your ab muscles very often, you might squeeze it loose.
    What if those aren’t ligament pains and are actually your uterus detaching inside your body?
    What if that wasn’t a kick of the baby rolling over, but a sign something is wrong?

Those are only the main ones I can easily recall, there have been many other brief thoughts and worries. I have googled myself to death looking up every symptom, feeling, and sensation.

Silver lining: I think a touch of paranoia is normal. I’ve learned so much from googling even the most random things – I’ve learned details about the changes to a woman’s body and the development of the baby that no health book ever included. I’ve learned a lot of different scenarios, which can definitely be scary but also helps me feel more prepared in case any of those scenarios occur with me. Also, I am aware that my underlying daily anxiety is definitely playing a role. While concerns are normal, not everyone will experience the level of concern I sometimes do, but my being aware of that affect is enough for me to talk myself through any freak outs.

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We’re growing! Now let’s get real, Part 5

In Funny, Non-Fiction, Opinion/Personal, Personal on December 30, 2018 at 11:00 am

Part 1: Morning Sickness

Part 2: Cravings & Aversions

Part 3: Digestion

Part 4: Body Talk

Noxema pads, Lip Smackers, Teen Spirit, and Cucumber Melon Body Mist. The essentials for the late 90’s / early 2000’s teen girl. A “grown up” haircut, hours in front of a mirror before leaving your room, and that lifted weight of teen dreams come true when you wake up to find the Noxema worked and that pesky puberty breakout is healed. Thank god puberty comes early in the life span and only once, right?

Wrong. Welcome to your Second Puberty.

I assumed that the rush of hormones in early first trimester, serving the purpose of sustaining the embryo until the placenta takes over, would pass. My first 3 months of pregnancy was a nightmare. My face erupted into massive breakouts without fail or remedy. It’ll pass, I naively kept repeating in my head. Truth is, is hasn’t passed yet and I’ve just rounded the halfway mark.

The mood swings have subsided – slightly. I’m a quick trigger with feeling annoyed but no more random bursts of tears for a while. I’m a sweaty, hot flashy mess almost constantly. This chilly, rainy Kentucky “winter” weather is prime for my body right now and feels a-maz-ing. But this skin… It’s dry, it’s patchy, it’s itchy, it’s inflamed, and it’s still erupting (albeit on a smaller scale). Thank god my husband loves me because my bed head, no make up mornings are less “naturally adorable” and more “ogre-troll with flesh eating bacteria disease” these days…

Silver Lining: Unfortunately, the hormones are necessary for pregnancy to sustain and baby to grow. I had always heard of the beauty and glow of pregnancy, and felt 100% like a hideous creature. However, I learned the “glow” is actually just the increase in blood flow (check – daily nosebleeds from weeks 14-17) and the hormonal hot flashes (double check check!) and hormonal breakouts are very common during pregnancy. While not enjoyable, it isn’t a major concern to be honest. I changed up my skin care routine a little to address the changes to my skin texture and habits, and this has helped to reduce the issues I’m experiencing. And the further I get in this pregnancy process, the less and less it occurs. Just find a routine that fits your new skin and stick to it, and all will be well.

Some suggestions for pregnancy and nursing safe skin care:

We’re Growing! Now let’s get real, Part 3

In Personal on November 18, 2018 at 9:59 am

Part 1: Morning Sickness

Part 2: Cravings & Aversions

So here’s the thing – the ugly honest truth – not being able to eat might not be the worst thing right now, since there’s a 50/50 chance that you won’t be going to the bathroom successfully anyways…

Digestion and…constipation

This was probably the first symptom I had, before I even realized I was pregnant. No test yet, no realization that my period was late, no sickness – just awful, terrible heartburn nonstop that refused to be treated by any method known to man.

Second was the opposite end. It’s not a pretty subject, but I figure I might as well do away with embarrassment and being self-conscious since all my boys and pieces will be poked and prodded endlessly through this pregnancy and delivery. Everything you manage to eat will collect in your gut for days and refuse to digest or pass.

Like, days…

And guess what? A lot of these OTC meds you may have on hand already aren’t recommended for pregnant ladies. So what does the internet offer? “Drink lots of fluids.” Check! I’m constantly thirsty even when not pregnant, but it’s gotten even more extreme. So I increased it even more, and quite possibly came the closest in history to drowning myself internally with the high amounts of urine my body was creating only around every 10 minutes. Still no changes in the bowel department.

“Try a natural solution, like prunes.” Sweet baby Jesus, prunes… I’d almost rather stay constipated than have to force feed myself another one of those things! And it only slightly helped get my guts rolling again.

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And So They Met

In Non-Fiction, Personal, Writing on September 1, 2015 at 10:10 pm

How She Met Her Father, Part 4.  See Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3.

Two months had passed since her graduation.  Against all expectation, he had actually shown up.  Late – sneaking in a side door once the ceremony had already begun – and empty handed, but he was there.  Afterwards, waiting out back of the school near the parking lot, sending in his youngest child, her half brother, to get her.  Awkward side hugs, awkward small talk as if they had known each other from years ago.  Since then, her sisters requested visits more often, explaining “Daddy wants to see you, and he’ll meet you at our house.”  Sometimes he was there already, clutching a beer.  Sometimes they would call him once or twice, then have to pick him up from whatever friend’s house where he had started drinking.  Sometimes, though not often, he would already be too drunk to make it at all.

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What Is Family?

In Awards, Opinion, Opinion/Personal, Personal on June 6, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Not long ago, I got into a discussion with a friend about the term “family.”  My friend is in college and was telling me about one of her classes in which they discuss controversial topics and the idea of “traditional verses non-traditional” was one of these topics.  Her view-point was surprising to me as she explained what her response in her class had been.  When she was a child, she thought that all families were the same.  All families had a mother and a father and that was it.  I searched my brain, but could never remember a time in which I also thought that all families were the same as mine.  But I quickly realized that was because I saw it every day.  I was raised by my mother alone, and most of my friends were being raised by both parents – the “traditional” family – so I always knew that there were different kinds of families.  Until I reached college, I had never heard the terms “traditional” or “non-traditional.”  I had never given it a second thought and my initial reaction to these terms was somewhat biting.  Being labeled a “non-traditional family” seemed almost like being excluded from some prestigious group, like any time that term was said, the say-er had an automatic distasteful tone.

I remember being in a family studies class probably more than 5 years ago.  I was never the type to draw attention to myself.  I took my notes and bided my time until class was over, making mental notes of points that the conversation brought up so I could use them later during open answer tests.  But on this one day, I knew I had to speak up.  My stomach was in knots and my brain kept saying “What the hell are you doing?!” But I raised my hand.  I demanded the attention of all my classmates to respond to a woman’s statement that children from non-traditional families are cheated out of a real family, that non-traditional families are detrimental to the development of a child.  My response was simple: “I disagree 100%.  I was raised by a single mother.  My father played no part in my upbringing, and I have no doubt that I am a better person because of that.  I was never cheated.  I never felt that I missed opportunities or missed out on a part of my life because of that.  If it wasn’t for the way my mother raised me independently, I could possibly not even be here now.  I understand that studies often show that children of single parent homes are more susceptible to learning problems, to lower socio-economic status, etc., but this is not always the case.  I wouldn’t have had it any other way and I disagree with generalized statements such as that.”  Needless to say, the woman tried to eat her words, obviously flustered in thinking she had offended me.

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The Invitation

In "How She Met Her Father" Series, Non-Fiction, Writing on May 23, 2013 at 7:14 pm

 Part 3 of “How She Met Her Father.”  Read Part 1 and Part 2.

She could count the number of times she had seen him on one hand. In almost 18 years, it was that few.  She remembered every time, even though she knew he didn’t.  She remembered every glance, every passing, every time knowing that he had no clue who she was.

She remembered the stories. Her mom’s friend coming to visit almost once a week, bringing toys and playing with her so it could be reported back to him how she was growing up.  Her newfound sisters recounting the plethora of times he polished off a case of beer and cried and voiced his wishes of how he would have liked to know her.  Did this affect her? No. He was the adult here, he made the decision to deny her from the very beginning. That’s not something you can so easily wish away. That’s not something very forgettable when you’re on the receiving end.

On memories, beginnings, lonliness, and no plans: This is not the end.

In Opinion/Personal, Personal, Random on April 2, 2013 at 4:23 pm

I need to be painfully honest.  Not with someone else – with myself.  I’ve tried to avoid it, because even though I already know what I need to say to myself I know it is still going to feel different once it is said.  I’ve sat down handfuls of times in an attempt to write.  To write a post, to write on a story already started, to write literally anything, and I ended up staring at my computer screen for endless minutes before getting frustrated and closing it all out.  I know it’s because my head is clouded with all these unspoken things, these things that I’ve been trying desperately to un-think.  But the truth is, these things are there.  Whether I allow myself to think about it, whether I fight in an attempt to not have to face the facts, they are there and they always will be.  So here I sit, pecking away at my keyboard because I know I need to man up and do it already.

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Discarded

In "How She Met Her Father" Series, Non-Fiction, Personal, Writing on January 13, 2013 at 10:15 pm

This is Part 2 of the “How She Met Her Father” series.  The parts are written in chronological order of the main character, the girl, so I recommend reading them in order so it flows smoothly and stays true to the story line.  If you haven’t read Part 1, The Solo Sibling, you should check that out.

Discarded.  All these things, thrown out.  Toys that were once loved and cherished.  Stuffed animals that probably made a small child feel a little safer in a dark bedroom in the middle of the night.  Old odds and ends, gifts from Christmases years ago, things that must still carry memories if the owner took the time to think about where it came from, how they got it, what it meant at one point in time.  Yet here they all were, laid out on a blanket over a borrowed folding table sitting in a patch of dirt and gravel on the side of the road.  So close to the road that passing cars drowned out every voice and added another layer of dust to the already grimy discarded and forgotten items.

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Bumps to Babies

Discussing the joy and woes of pregnancy and being a mom

Singing Heart

Poems by Karem Barratt

*UNBREAKABLE QUEEN'S LIFE LESSONS DIARY*

Breaking Free From The Past, In Hope For A Bigger & Brighter Future

One Day at a Time

The world is a confusing place, these are just my musings on it.

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