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Posts Tagged ‘Steps’

How -Not- to Pick Up Chicks, A Guide to Failure

In Funny, Opinion, Opinion/Personal, Random on December 9, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Bars and clubs are the face-to-face social platform for meeting someone.  Everybody gets dressed to impress, and by this I mean the girls ho-up in an attempt to be the sole focus of every person in the bar they are at.  Inhibitions are low due to alcohol consumption, everybody wants to just have a good time.  I enjoy getting dressed up, going out, dancing, all that jazz, but there’s a line that should not be crossed, ladies.  Shirts should be worn as shirts, not dresses.  Nobody wants to see your commando going ass hanging out the bottom of a baby tee when you aren’t even bending over.  Then they get trashed and sloppy and end up out of half the outfit they walked in wearing.

But everybody knows how girls do when they go out.

Amy Winehouse did a song about it:

Jenna Marbles did a video about it (specifically about white girls, but it could very well apply to any and all):

It’s kind of just an expected thing for girls to be hot messes in the club.  It’s annoying, yes, but there’s something else that seems to be slipping through the cracks of scrutiny lately, and that is guys in the club.  Any adult female can attest to the fact that, on a broad basis, guys trying to pick up girls in the club are generally just  a hot mess in all aspects of life anyways.  They are obviously adults, but are still trying to score quickies from girls who are making foggy minded decisions and still have no idea how to properly engage in communication or truly pick up a woman.  Add in a little loud bass beats, a dash of strobe lights, and a heap of alcohol and this questionable adult turns into a disasterous mess.  I can say without hesitation that I would never see a drunk man in a bar and think to myself, “Oh, there is definitely promise in that one.”So for the entertainment of females everywhere, and what would be useful knowledge to males but I doubt any male that needs to read this would actually take the time to, I have compiled a useful how-to for all the ways to bomb a pick up that I’ve either been subjected to or been able to witness at local clubs in my town.

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