We’re growing! Now let’s get real, part 7

Part 1: Morning Sickness

Part 2: Cravings & Aversions

Part 3: Digestion

Part 4: Body Talk

Part 5: Second Puberty

Part 6: Irrational Fears

Let’s continue the subject of thought patterns and how being smart doesn’t even matter when your body becomes the host for a new human.  We’ve covered the fears, which are greatly affected by the raging hormones in your body.  But how about suddenly becoming the most forgetful person in the entire world?  Because, trust me, it happens.

I am fairly organized.  Being in a management and supervisory position for 3 years has resulted in my organized chaos turning into actual organization.  I am the master of spreadsheets, tracking forms, to-do lists, and prioritizing.  My email not only serves as the majority of my communication, but also am always visible running log of flagged tasks organized by date to keep me on my schedule.  I rock this stuff – BUT

Pregnancy brain…it is not a myth.  It is real.  And it is currently rocking me.

I have been getting ready for work in the pre-sunrise hours of Kentucky “fall” and “winter” (I use those terms loosely, since the last month has been rain – sunshine – light jacket – no jacket – good god I’m sweating through my sweater – where’d I store my scarves – hello snow) and between finishing my hair and packing my lunch I run out to start my car so it’s nice and toasty for my ~half hour commute.  Four times, I have then been late for work after losing my mind and destroying my living room scouring it for my keys.  My keys, which I had just used 10 minutes prior to warm up my car.  Convinced I had lost them, and taking way too long to remember that if my car was still idling then the keys must be still in the car.

On the regular, I lose my vocabulary.  Luckily, I am surrounded by people that know me well enough to fill in the blanks when it takes me too long to catch back up to my own thoughts.

I have almost ruined more than one dinner by forgetting that it was on the stove or in the oven, even if I am still physically in the kitchen but distracted by some other task I think to start while waiting.  Multi-tasking is absolutely not my thing right now.

Silver lining:  It’s common, and people are quite understanding.  Not only are you dealing with sleep interruptions – body discomfort, tossing and turning, hourly pee breaks, active baby in the wee morning hours kicking around all your organs – but you’re distracted.  Your mind is quickly becoming overwhelmed with the anticipation of meeting your baby, the questions, the concerns, the list of things still left to do before baby get’s here, the plans that need to be made, the uncertainties.  I could keep going, but I think we all get the point that this process is equally as mental as it is physical.  Being distracted and tired is absolutely acceptable and the people around you will generally get that, especially when you are surrounded mostly by other professional women and mothers.  Take the time to unwind, even if you just sit in a quiet room for 30 seconds to take a few deep breaths, and then give it another go.  Things will fall back into place, and even if they don’t fall back into the places they were before pregnancy.  That’s still okay.  Chances are, nothing will be in it’s place for the next 18 years anyways, so this is a good way to get reacquainted with the organized chaos, or chaos in general.

We’re Growing! Now let’s get real, Part 2

Part 1: Morning Sickness

Let’s keep right on track with a similar subject to Part 1 – the biggest changes I’ve noted so far are my eating habits.  Obviously, when you’re trying not to vomit for the better part of your day, eating becomes a task all in itself.  So, how does that work when your gut says no, but your brain says “pickles and milk”?

Cravings and Aversions.

Now first, let me clarify that I quickly learned that cravings aren’t always the Hollywood depiction of overflowing bowls of ice cream stuffed with pickles or peppers or some other gross combination every night at 3am.  So far, at 12 weeks, my cravings have been more of a minor obsession on some random food item that completely overtook all my thoughts until I ate it but they were all very normal food items.  First it was Wendy’s chili.  Hamburgers (sans veggies, because apparently this baby doesn’t want me eating lettuce for a while), homemade or from a restaurant.  Grapes, grapes, grapes all day every day.  Anything ground beef, but never ever shredded beef or slabs of solid beef.  Ever.  And all those favorites I trusted in pre-pregnancy – chocolate, coffee, big huge salads with spicy dressing – those are all a no go according to Baby now.  I was an avid coffee lover, 2-3 cups per day.  Now, the smell alone is comparable to old urine and enough to turn my stomach.

Sometimes, your cravings and aversions will even play tricks on you.  You’re out in public and a stranger passing by mentions nachos.  From that moment on, all you can think about are those huge nacho platters from Buffalo Wild Wings or an authentic Mexican restaurant.  It literally lingers behind every other thought you have until you have said platter right in front of you.  Here’s where it can get tricky:

• Sometimes, you dive in a devour every last bit.  Is it successful?  Or within 5 minutes of finishing, do you realize that you overdid yourself and spend the next 4 hours just trying to breath around the mass amounts of nachos floating around in your guts?
• Sometimes, you get 3 bites in to these nachos you so desperately needed only to find that this wasn’t actually what you wanted.  You might satiate your hungry anyways, but still feel this nagging in the back of your stomach for something that will truly quench that craving.  Or you might re-activate your gag reflex by trying to eat the nachos that you no longer have to have.  Now, you can add those nachos you loved so much at one point in time to the growing list of foods that Baby does not approve of.

Oh, and regardless of how the eating of the nachos goes, whether you finish, eat half, or only get a few bites down – enjoy the next 4 days of constant heartburn that even Jesus can’t get rid of.

Nugget #3: A Throrough Exam

Soundbite:

“No, she was professional.  She did not put her finger in that girl’s butthole.”

This statement originated from a very legitimate topic regarding medical services.  But ended up at this.

I know what you’re thinking…Oh, really? Poop jokes? Is she really going that low?  The answer is yes.  I am professional in my job and serious with my legitimate writings.  Outside of that, I am in no way full grown or lady-like and I’m okay with that, so anyone planning to read these should probably be okay with that, too.

*Forewarning: This will undoubtedly not be the only post about an anus and/or feces.  My friends are very gross.