We’re growing! Now let’s get real, Part 4

Part 1: Morning Sickness

Part 2: Cravings & Aversions

Part 3: Digestion

Very early on, there will come a day when you will be prepping for a shower or a nice long bath with a locked bathroom door pretending you can’t hear your husband asking if you know where he left his phone or keys or head, and your normal routine will be stopped in it’s tracks by a chance gaze into the mirror.

Your Body

No joke – these changes happen in no time. Slightly swollen belly, okay. But the boobs are out of control! Where did they come from, like overnight? And it’s not just the boobs that quadruple in size. The nipples will change – color, size, shape, everything. Every day is like a surprise. Which nip do we have today? Ah, swollen and raw. Nice!  And heaven forbid it’s cold weather – visible nipples through thin fabric is the least of my concerns anymore. These things can penetrate a decently made bra and 2 shirts, but that’s not the worst part. Sore boobs suddenly becoming cold and shriveling, as our body parts do, means even the most delicate, cloud-soft clothing turns into aggressive sandpaper.  Layer up to keep warm?  You may try, but just wait until those hot flashes kick in.  I’ve barely worn a coat outside so far this season just to try to avoid having to double up on deodorant and publicly wipe my brow.

I think the real kicker for me was that even somewhat knowing that these changes were going to occur didn’t protect me, because I believed believe I had more time.  I was able to start noticing these changes as early as 6 weeks.  Literally, a week after finding out I was pregnant, pregnant things started happening.  My body just jumped right in head first to this thing.

Silver Lining:  It’s all prep work.  These boobs suck but tenderness and swelling, and even leaking when that time comes, just means there is a better chance that I will successfully be able to breastfeed my baby as I hope to.

And every body is different.  For example, a lot of women get linea nigra – or that darker pigmented line down the middle of the belly.  It’s completely normal and common, but so far I have no indication of that.  Some people go their entire pregnancy with no stretch marks, but I already have a few.  It’s all prep and battle scars for your body to say “hey, I made a brand new person from scratch like a champ.”

How Did I Get Here?

**Heads up: this post contains introspective statements on sensitive subjects to include eating disorders, mental health, and thoughts on suicide. No details, no lengthy descriptions of sensitive matters, but they are briefly present from my own point of view and should be taken into consideration for those that may be negatively affected. I encourage anyone struggling with any degree of mental health issues to seek help and support through friends, family, professionals, your local Community Mental Health Center, support groups, etc.***

So me right now…

Promotion at work, wedding, honeymoon, regular day to day activities.  A million excuses have kept me from just sitting down with a pen and paper and geting out these idea’s I’ve had building up in my brain.  Time to purge a few of them and get back in the game. No more excuses, I gotta clear out some mind space for some new stuff.   Mental spring cleaning – better late than never at all!

More Mush

Maybe it’s my impending nuptials…
Maybe my hormones are out of whack…
Maybe I’m turning into a sap in my old age…
But this stuff is gettin’ me lately!

But this one is definitely more the style of me and my fiance:

😀   Happy Friday!

Love Is…

No worries, I won’t be giving some over-thought detailed list of all the things that love should be based solely on my needs and desires.  Love is many things, and those many things are different from person to person. But the one commonality I’ve noticed most is that people forget how simple it should be, just like everything else in life once adulthood hits.

Yes, life is complicated, but think about how much of that complication is caused by overthinking, overreacting, baggage from previous experiences – I could keep going.  But instead, I’ll just take a moment to remind everyone that things are so much easier to understand and accept when they are kept simple and pure, like when we were children, before we were jaded by the negativity of the world and our own doubts.

So I’ll just leave this here.  Pure, honest, true.  Think about it.

The Agent of Injustice

Kim Davis.

There’s no way you haven’t heard her name or seen her face at least once for her refusal to issue marriage licenses in a Kentucky County, despite being ordered by the federal court multiple times and now possibly facing fines and jail time.  To some she’s a martyr, standing up for her religious beliefs.  To some she’s a nuisance, furthering stereotypes of the region and keeping her tax payer funded job position despite refusing to perform her job duties.

First of all, let me start by saying that this country was built for people to have the freedom to have their own beliefs and to fight for those beliefs.  I applaud those that are brave enough to stand out from the crowd and stand firm on their beliefs.  My issue with her is not that she is standing up for her religion.  My issue is that, should her personal beliefs conflict with her job and changing her personal beliefs is not an option for her, then she should find a new job.  My issue is that her personal beliefs being allowed to affect her job performance is hindering the freedom of others.

To Nip, or No? *Warning – Boobies.

I’ve been seeing a lot of debate over this whole “free the nipple” craze lately.  Those in support state that women are hypersexualized, that there should be no difference in seeing the male nipple everywhere versus seeing the female nipple. There’s even a new trend on social media in which girls are posting topless photos of themselves with a male nipple photoshopped over their own nipples, which ultimately gives the appearance of wearing a nipple-pasty.

I am inserting the “Read More” tag early in this post, as bewbs are to follow, and not all people wish to see that unprepared. Or at all…

I’m a gardening fool

Fiance and I decided we wanted to try gardening this year.  He had helped his parents with their garden when he was younger, and I once had a pitiful attempt at a window sill herb garden.  This was a first for us both to really try to garden.  We knew it was going to take work, but we were looking forward to it. Not only would we have vegetables readily available, but we would save a little money – never mind the fact that “fresh” selections at our local grocery stores seemed to be suffering lately and it was becoming more and more difficult to not overpay for a set of anything just to have to throw half of it out the very next day because it was already going bad.

We also enjoy supporting our local and small businesses, so we decided against seed packets from a chain store.  Instead we visited a nearby farmer and his wife who run a greenhouse next to their home.  He cut us a great deal: we were handed a plastic tray that held up to 12 plants.  We filled that tray and purchased 1 extra plant all for just $20.  Because it was our first garden, we stuck to things we felt would be easiest: 4 different kinds of peppers, 3 different kinds of tomatoes, zucchini, and cucumber.

It’s the little things

Some days, I’m confident. 100% happy. 1000% sure of – everything. Totally in control.

Some days, my brain glitches out. I’m a zombie. Forgetful. Confused, even by the most mundane tasks.

Some days, I’m indescribable. I’m scared, nervous, anxious. For what? I never know. It makes me unhappy.

It’s exhausting for me, so I can only imagine how exhausting it is for the people close to me.

But I thank my lucky stars every day for those people. Those people and their little words or actions, those people who don’t even realize what they do.

My wonderful grandmother, so proud of the things I’ve taken after her, always sure to remind me that no matter what is going on she’s supportive and understanding.

My quirky mother, unknowingly providing quality entertainment in attempting to learn new technology and this crazy texting thing.

And my wonderful fiance, eat-breath-live-music man, who chooses his own way to show me he cares. Never flowers, because those just sit until they die. But useful little gifts, and funny little songs.  And telling me that he loves me “more than everything, even vinyls and banjo and guitar.”

And I soak it up and let it settle in.  And I feel balanced again – because I love and am loved, and that’s what’s really important here.

I have these kind of days…